Results, Outcomes & Samantha Fox
Bartender's Wisdom... or is it ?
My dear beloved customers,
I did it again! I exhausted myself with work and expectations, fortunately stopping before burnout but not before anger at myself and at the Universe. I thus had to stop and ask myself how I ended up at that very same spot again… There’s always a lesson to be learned when we circle toward the same direction again and again. And I guess this one is clearly related to the one that came my way last October which I told in my one of my latest posts.
And the message the Universe sent me was quite clear and powerful: “(…) Stop fighting for life is neither a war nor a struggle, it’s an adventure so let go of your fears, replace them by faith and curiosity and everything will be alright. See, everything is alright just now.”
As far as I am concerned, there were still a few issues to be considered: Why on Earth do I put so much pressure on my shoulders and never get really satisfied with myself? These were in fact two very different and acurate questions.
Why so much pressure ? I have to say I was quite surprised by the answer I got after giving full consideration to that issue for I always thought it was linked to my lack of time fear, that is to say not having enough time to do everything I want to do (before my day/life ends). But, it’s in fact another “not enough” which popped out of the magic hat: I discovered that I had to do so many things in my life, working until everything is perfectly done, to make up for the fact I was not enough (to deserve love, happiness, achieving my dream life….) and there would never be enough things I could achieve to prove myself, and others, that I am in fact enough, because being enough is not about doing things, it is about being, simply existing. I am enough because I am. I don’t have to do anything to be enough because that’s exactly what I am as a person, as a human being, as a divine creature, I am enough.
Though I’ve been familiar with the concept for a long time now, it keeps regularly getting out of my sight, slipping out of my mind, as though I was suffering from consciousness dementia for, unfortunately, knowing is not owning : owning is knowing without the “k-ey” which opens the incorporating door, the door to the next level of awareness.
I remember that, when my second awakening occured, I listened a lot to Justin Michael Williams’s meditations and podcasts and I loved one of his songs highly acurately called “I am Enough”. And yet, two years later, the lesson still needs to be learned but, at least, I am able to recognize it when it popped in front of me.
So, okay, the first issue is that I need to slow down a bit, do what I want to do, take the actions to achieve the goals I am aiming for, but without the pressure of doing it right now all at once for nobody is actually giving me deadlines or is expecting anything from me other than myself. This one is checked for now!
The next one: Why am I never satisfied with myself even when I’ve done everything that needed to be done, according to me of course? Because I am not in the now, in the immediate results of my actions. When I’ve checked all that was crossed on my to-do list for the day, I should be so satisfied with myself and go for a very deserved enjoyable restful time. Unfortunately, when things are done, I am more focused on their possible outcomes than on their immediate results. It is so obvious with my first novel: I should be so proud of only having been able to write a whole novel (Yeah me!!!) and, according to those who read it, quite a good one or, at least, an enjoyable one to read! And yet, I am so frustrated with the fact that it’s not published yet, that I have not been able (good enough) to find the right person/publisher who believes in that novel and the joy it brings to people as much as I do.
Expectations are our worst enemies for they put us in a failure posture. The Universe actually knows better than we do the right path for us, the one that will serve best our journey and bring us the best outcome possible. Hence, if we cling to the outcome we think is best for us, we end up in a fight with the Universe that goes something like this:
“The Universe: Will you stop fighting already so that I can give you what you want?!
Me: But I know exactly what I want.
The Universe: So do I and actually better than you think you do! So, will you let go and, please, trust me with it?
Me: Let me tell you one thing: I certainly know better than you do that the path I want to take will fill me with extatic joy.
The Universe: You don’t seem so extatic right now…
Me: Well, I would be if you let me take this path.
The Universe: First of all, I think you lack a lot of imagination concerning the right path for you and you should be more open to magic surprises and enchanting detours. Second of all, I have a greater picture here than you do and I can assure you that if you let go of that expectation of yours, you will stop vibrating as though you had already failed - which is not very good for your health either by the way - thus open yourself to success and you will stop exhausting yourself along the way because you will go with the flow of life rather than fighting it. May I remind you that you are not a salmon?
Me: What do sushis have to do with it?! Ok, Ok, stop looking at me like that, I get your point and I surrender to you.”
The actual dialogue didn’t exactly go like that and it took place with my so full of wisdom kinesiologist rather than directly with the Universe; he was actually more to the point when he told me: “Stop trying to control the outcomes and surrender”. Well, the fighter inside of me, my idiotic ego, laughed a lot at that sentence and answered something like “over my dead body” to which I replied “Don’t tempt me…”.
Over the past few months, everything I read about achieving one’s dream told me I had to visualize the dream I wanted to achieve - and let me tell you that I am not good at small ones so I started with a gigantic one! - and take actions towards it… Imagine what it means to someone like me who thinks I never do enough. I took all the actions I could think of which was indeed a lot for I have a very fertile imagination.
Hopefully, my mentor guided me otherwise: “Take the actions that seem appropriate to you but remember that the Universe don’t measure your worth of your dream on the amount you take but on the faith concerning your ability to achieve your dream. So try to find your pace rather than your path and surrender the outcome to the one in charge: the Universe.” Yeah, I know, he’s a very wise man!
So, since the begining of December, as Miss Samantha Fox used to sing, “I surrender”. I take pleasure in writing my second novel knowing that one way or another - which is another really great song by the way! - my first one will end up being published, whenever the right time will come, and, meanwhile, I take small actions to develop my children book “Flasp”.
I took the liberty to slightly alter the chorus lyrics:
“And I surrender to the Spirit of the Light
I surrender (I surrender)
Universe is my lover, and that's a pleasure
So I surrender to the Spirit of the Light”
And that works for me!
Please let me know in the comments if you’ve tried the “I surrender” Mantra and if it has worked for you so far.
Bartendingly yours with lots of love,
Geay
PS: If you like her stories but are not ready to subscribe yet, you can tip the Bartender.
Life, the Universe and Everything Playlist
“I am enough because I am. I don’t have to do anything to be enough because that’s exactly what I am as a person, as a human being, as a divine creature, I am enough.”
I love this quote. I had to learn this the hard way as well. I think one of the great challenges of living our dream is we tend to either go to the extreme of thinking it is the fulfillment of our dream that will bring about that sense of fulfillment that we long for, or the other extreme of thinking it’s not all that important.
I often like to say, we don’t have a dream to become significant, we have a dream because we are significant. But, until we know and experience at our core our true significance, our fear of not being significant, and needing to prove it by whatever means will actually get in the way of Living our dream.
Michael singers Life is a good example of what can happen when our lives align with the flow of the universe! God actually wants our dreamed fulfilled in our lives more than we do. But until we can surrender in trust that the universe is always working in our lives for our good and for its fulfillment our working for it often will actually hinder it.
It’s kind of a paradoxical thing… I think a lot of people conclude this means we’re not supposed to work. I don’t think that is true. It’s more of aligning our lives with our souls mission and surrendering to the divine working through us to carry it out!
Sorry for my long response… I tend to get carried away on this subject 😂
I celebrate your journey! Many blessings!
very wise bartender 🙂❤️