Awarness Macchiatos / Universe first summons
Weekly Special
Hi my dear beloved customers,
What can I get you today? What about our Weekly Special Awareness Macchiatos? They will open your mind to the hints of the Universe…
Have you noticed how life can send us warnings, like a kind caring parent, and how we discard them as know-it-all reckless teenagers riding mountain bikes before hitting the quite painful reality ground? Indeed, the fall might have been smoother had we chosen to listen to the previous lighter bumps on the road…
Well, as I am as slow a learner as a reader, it took me two very very hurtful fall to understand there was no more road ahead just a very high precipice where I could either crash down or make a leap of faith to rally my true joyful flowery path on the other side…
This is the story of the first fall, painful yet, unfortunately, quickly forgotten in the blur of life.
As very often in my life, it all started one day with something quite magical when I was at Estelle’s, my beloved hairdresser. As she has always been very interested in spiritual and paranormal stuffs, she hosts psychic sessions in her salon regularly. This time, she offered me to come and attend a collective session with a woman who has the ability to talk with deceased people. As I am always intrigued by this kind of psychic abilities and I miss my dear past away grand-father a lot, obviously, I accepted her invitation. On the day the session was to take place, I experienced a true moment of bliss which lasted all afternoon. That was the first time I experienced such tremendous love and joy inside of me and I remember how incredible and miraculous it felt!
During the session, I got to talk to my grand-mother, Mamie Germaine, first who seemed to be so happy to talk with me and I am a little ashamed to admit that, though I was so thrilled to communicate with her, and so touched that she remembered how I used to make her laugh each time I phoned her to tell her about my life, I cut short our conversation to have time to talk with my Papy Pierrot who had past more than three decades ago. My father was absent from my life for the second half of my childhood so my grandpa was my father figure. I knew the psychic lady was really seeing my grandpa the minute she exclamed in awe: “Waow, he is a light being!”. I always thought my grandpa was very handsome, not only from the outside but from the inside and I remember literally feeling his light when I was with him as a child. I’ve always known he was some kind of light being though, in his earthly life, he was an alcoholic, the sad depressed kind not the aggressive one. He never recovered from World War II when he was a very young man and the loss of his first baby child afterwards. There was so much resentment between him and my grandma, it hurt to see her yelling at him constantly. She wasn’t a bad person either: She had lived the same kind of life traumas as my grandpa and was suffering from deep depression as well. I think both were suffering from PTSD. But there was a real profound kindness in my grandpa, I could see the light beaming out of his so kind blue eyes and smile. He numbed his pain with alcohol and that was heartbreaking. His heart was so filled with love and kindness that he couldn’t sustain the pain and sorrows from the life he had lived. I know because he passed that softeness of heart to me and I “suffered” as he did from the darkness of the world around me for a long time before understanding love was actually a real beautiful gift.
Anyway, back to the session, we chichatted for a few minutes, he told me things such as he was so proud of me and of my daughter, that we were both concerned about my mother depressed and mean behaviour though he told me her well-being wasn’t my responsability, and that he loved me and watched over me all the time. Nothing important really, but things that matter. How do you know it wasn’t a scam, will you smart people ask me? Aside from the bliss moment in my afternoon and some things my grand-parents said that the psychic lady couldn’t know, I could feel their energy, their love and joy. I could physically sense their presence, see them in my head and heart. Maybe the other persons there could feel their loved ones’ energy too or maybe it’s because I am a little psychic as well as my mother bluntly told me during a long week-end I am not about to forget and that I related in one of my Weekly Special post. At the end of the session, I went back home with my heart filled with love and that was it for a few weeks. It was early November 2019, a few days after my birthday which happen to be on Halloween day. I know, no wonder I see magic everywhere!
The 2019 ending year was a pressuring one for me. I was managing the company I had founded with my husband to help and promote emerging musicians’ projects, and we had hired our first employee. Thus my main task during that year had been to make sure I had enough money coming in to be able to pay her every month and it was really a stressful responsability for me. We had chosen to hire her, though she lacked a few skills I was willing to teach her, because she needed a job for she was a single mom of two, one of her daughters was in the same school as ours, and had just finished a year of cultural events management studies back in college. She had a few problems in her previous job but she had helped us on a few tasks before taking the job and that had gone very well.
She was working from her home three days a week, from our office the two other days and we would take turns to go and get our kids from school. I have always tried to be the boss I would have liked to have, benevolent, taking the blame when mistakes were made, and arranging my employee for as much as I could - I am a people pleaser in recovery and that extended to the people I worked with… - though nicely demanding results when I needed them, mostly when artists pressured me for some. Her contract reached its end in December so I asked her if she liked to work with us and was willing to renew it for a year which she agreed upon before leaving for the two weeks Christmas vacations we offered her. Early January, a week after she came back to work, while we were preparing our participation to a very important trade fair two weeks later 800 km (500 miles) away from home, she informed me that she had to undergo an urgent surgery during the time we would be away. It was very inconvenient but health comes first, no discussion about it, so I upgraded her new contract with health insurance so she had nothing to worry about, though it increased the financial pressure on my shoulders.
This is when things began to go berserk. My husband and I thus left for our trade fair, making a first stop in Paris to meet with a few national medias to promote our artists. We spent a day there before receiving a distressing phone call in the evening from my father-in-law informing us that my mother-in-law, who also was my daughter’s nanny during that trip, had fallen on the curb and broken her hip. We hence decided to drive back home during night to assist my father-in-law and fetch our daughter. My husband left the next day to attend the trade fair on his own. I phoned my employee to know how she was after her surgery which had taken place a few days before and to tell her about the situation but couldn’t reach her. I hoped everything was OK for her and arranged with another parent to take my daughter to school during my husband’s absence for I don’t drive.
A few days later, I received an email from my employee, complaining about what an awful boss during the past months, listing several “inappropriate” behaviours which were essentially related to the fact that I regularly requested results and feedbacks thus inducing unbearable stress for her, and that she never ever wanted to talk to me again. She would stay on sick leave - in France, you get your full salary paid by national healthcare for the first sick leave month and almost full for the second one - until we could find a compromise for her to leave with benefits. I was in shock and, to this day, I’ve never heard the sound of her voice again for she refused any phone contacts during the whole process. So my husband was away, my mother-in-law in hospital and I had to handle my employee’s sudden departure.
But that was not it, though. Early February 2020, my father and my in-laws who had been friends for decades entered in a feud over politics, my immature father behaving as usually in this kind of situation as a stubborn erratic child, never apologised to them so they never talked to one another after that, and ended telling me harshly to mind my own business, which it kind of was since me and my family were a collateral damage of that feud, and that, anyway, he had always loved my husband more than me, considering him more as his child than me. That day, I stopped talking to him for two years.
At that point, I was nervously exhausted, taking punches from everywhere not knowing where the next one would be coming from, trying to sort out situations that didn’t belong to me but had nevertheless fallen upon my shoulders. Mid-February, I was walking back home with my seven year old daughter from an afternoon of merry-go-rounds on a parking lot close to our house, when, descending a curb, I twisted my right ankle, the one I had been twisting every now and then during my all life when not aligned with myself. My body itself was telling me it was time for me to stop.
What an awful turn of events, would you say?… On the contrary, my friends, on the contrary… Someone upstairs was actually cleaning the house!
During the very first days of March, we at last arrived to an agreement with my former employee and officially let her go. This allowed me the very next day to hire my husband for we couldn’t afford more than two employees in our company yet and I was already one of them. It was March, 3rd 2020. On March, 16th, the first Covid lockdown was decreted in France. The financial support given by the state to employers to keep on paying their employees during the following months allowed us to live without any financial concerns for our company and our earnings. It wouldn’t have been remotely the same, had I not been able to hire my hubbie just before the lockdown. An angel was watching over us.
The lockdown turned out to be a benediction for me: none of our closest friends and family had to suffer from Covid and we lived safely in our sweet home with garden. All the professional pressure I had experienced for the past year and a half had momentarily disappeared and I felt I could breathe again.
I could take time for me, rest, watch series, play video games for the first time in the past decade, and, more importantly, reflect on my life. I resume meditation, an activity I had tried a few months before but not really carried on with for lack of time. Indeed, I was working all the time, day in day out, week-end included. The first week I went back to meditation, I realised my solar plexus was literaly blocked: I had a muscle knot across it so tight it took me several days to undone it and it left with a pain that lasted for a few days as well. That knot tends to reform itself when I am stressed and I have to undo it consciously quite regularly. What I noticed when I worked on it is that it blocked the energy in the upper part of my body, preventing an energy flow with the below part. Once that knot was out of the way, I never ever twisted my right ankle again.
Nevertheless, however wonderful and peaceful that period was, though it allowed me to reflect on my life, I never reached any conclusion about that reflection and a year and a half later was back where I started! Searching for answers and, unconsciously, for a way out, I went back to see the psychic lady in a one-on-one session to talk again with my beloved grandpa and every one of my other grand-parents including my husband’s. And guess what?
Well, you’ll have to come back next week to know what happened next but let’s say that, as I was telling you at the beginning of that story, when you don’t listen to the first summons, the next one is not as gentle - gentle?! You call that gentle?!! Seriously?! - as the first one…
So stay tuned, my beloved customers, until Café 42 next Weekly Special! And please, let me know in the comments if, you too, have received warnings from life that you ended up ignoring or if you thought your life was falling apart whereas it was, in fact, falling back into place.
Lots of love,
Geay
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Inspiration Cupcakes or How I went back to writing (Part 1)
Imagination Shakes or How I went back to writing (Part 2)
Many blessings! Look forward to the continuing story‼️