Hi my dear beloved customers,
What can I get you today? Let me tempt you with our Weekly Special: Our reassuring Fear Free Crullers…
Oh! But you must be wondering who are those two adorable brunette girls playing over there with their backpacks on their shoulders… Let me introduce them to you.
“Come here, girls, those nice folks would like to hear about you! So, that beautiful one with her blue backpack is Fear and the other cuty with the pink one is Guilt. Say “Hi”, girls!”
“Hi everyone!”
“So, Fear, tell us a little about you… Where do you come from and what are you here for?”
“Well, I come to see you when Uncle Ego sends me to warn you about a danger for himself, when he feels threaten. A few years ago, you had my full time custody and I lived with you all the time. I liked that very much! I thought I was a super hero protecting you.”
“You were, Sweetheart. You protected me from everything: the outside world, living my life, being my true self, love, happiness… You were quite good at your job, actually.”
“And I got to be very loud too, back then! I loved when I could shout all day long and surprise you all the time. Your heart racing with panic, your whole capacity to think clearly shutting down for hours… That was quite fun. Now, I’m only allowed to whisper when I come to visit you, which is not that often and not as fun.”
“That’s because I’ve realized I’m in no real danger, ever, you understand that?”
“Yes, but now I have to live with Auntie What-Ifs and she’s not very fun to live with; she smells and it stings when she kisses you.”
“I know, it’s why I’ve decided to live full time with Auntie Faith now. She’s so much more fun to live with, she’s always in a good mood and she smells delicious.”
“I don’t know her.”
“That’s the whole point, Sweetie. Let me give you a hug, now.”
“That’s all you do now, give me a hug and send me back home.”
“I know, Sweetheart, that’s because I am not scared to live my life or to be myself anymore. I feel loved all the time, I love myself, I am surrounded by people who love me and I have a whole team of light including my guides who watch over me all the time. I live my life with curiosity, always eager to step into a new adventure because there is never any risk except the one of being happier than I already am for joy inhabits me full time. I don’t fear lacking because I am enough and the Universe has my back. There is no situation in life I cannot handle, some might be painful but most are joyous and I can manage both. I can’t prevent you from showing up for you’ve been around all my life and your coming to see me is acurate from time to time, but if you are not needed, I just hug you, thank you for caring for my well-being and send you back. I love you, Sweetheart, your a very concerned part of me.”
“And I love you, Geay.”
“Okay, let’s see what Guilt wants to tell us about her, now. Hello Guilt! What are you here for?”
“Uncle Ego sends me when he thinks you lack of perfection, to tell you that you could and should have done better.”
“Better than what?”
“Does it really matter? Just better.”
“Does Uncle Ego want me to be the better version of myself?”
“Of course not. Uncle Ego is only interested in comparing you with others who do things better than you, who would have handled things better than you, who achieved things in their lives better than you, almost anyone, really, according to him…”
“Uncle Ego is not a really kind person, is he?”
“He thinks an awful lot of himself and will do anything, really anything, to protect himself. Don’t tell her but Fear can be really nasty when he sends her to defend his grounds.”
“Oh, I know. But you are not too bad either, if I may. Sometimes, when we looked at pictures from the past together, you would tease me a lot on how I could have done things better repeatedly…”
“That’s true, but we never do that anymore.”
“No, because I’d rather do that with your cousins Benevolence and Compassion. There is no much point in judging something that was done ages ago with my actual eyes. I didn’t know then what I know now so the decisions I took in the past were coherent with who I was then, there is nothing to judge there.”
“Yes, but you never have second thoughts about your decisions and actions anymore, you never dwell upon them, as we used to do together for hours, worrying if they are the right ones, regretting you might have hurt someone in the process. You didn’t care to hurt yourself before as long as you never hurt anyone else. Now it’s the other way round and I never get to see you anymore. That’s not fair!
“That’s fair to me, Sweet Pea. I know who I am now, I know I am a good person and that my decisions and actions are always taken according to my well-being, my happiness, and the ones of the persons around me. If I hurt someone unintentionaly, I just apologize to them and let it go. I am not perfect, I am just me and I love me, I am a very fun person to live with. I am no better nor worse than any other human beings with my beautiful uniqueness of gifts and flaws and I love both. I don’t need you anymore, Guilt, but when you’ll come and visit me, be sure I will always send you back home with a hug because you’re a concerned part of me and I love you for that. You can both go back to play at Uncle Ego’s, now. Send him my best regards.”
A few months ago, I read somewhere that it could help to imagine our fear as a character in a story whom we can talk to and I did. I talk regularly to all my negative emotions; I acknowledge them and thank them to try and protect me and it works. As for Fear, it comes and goes without staying because what I’ve learned from life lately is that I am never ever in danger: I don’t live in a country at war, I don’t lack food or shelter, I don’t live in an abusive home, I have people caring for me… So I can live my life free of fear, simply out of curiosity and joy. Would you want to have another “Fear Free Cruller” to experience life that way?
By the way, I would so much love to taste a real cruller for I never have! I sure will next time I’m in the States (secretly hoping that it would be when I tour there to present my first novel!).
I would very much love to read in the comments about your own Fear and Guilt. Do you think it might help you handling them if you imagined and talked to them?
Lots of love,
Geay
PS: If you like her stories but are not ready to subscribe yet, tip the Bartender.
How I chose to Believe in Magic
And if you need a hand with your own fears, I am a Life Coach so feel free to contact me to see if we can go deeper on that topic together.
I am reading (and writing) this early this morning, before breakfast! If you live near me, we could go for coffee and donuts somewhere! And yes, I do know fear and guilt! I'm all alone now since my son, his girlfriend and the kitties moved out in December! I am tired and a bit fearful! I am having cataract surgery next month and I hope my insurance will cover it! I know I have to pay for the eye drops, my insurance won't pay for the special drops! Well, I could tell you more, but I need coffee! I have no donuts or pastries but I do have coffee and flavored coffee! And flavored creamer! Caramel is my favorite!