Hi Geraldine! I think you were absolutely in the right to keep your daughter out of swim class given the circumstances! Health is so important! It is all we have! And I’m sure you and your husband don’t want your daughter to come down with long Covid, which is a risk with even mild cases! Plus, if she still has symptoms, she could well be still contagious and should not be around her classmates!
It sounds like your daughter is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), who may also have a low tolerance for pain, so she deserves all your family’s compassion! Also Bipolar Disorder tends to run in families due to genetics and possibly growing up in a stressful environment due to being a Highly Sensitive Person, so your daughter may be exhibiting early signs of the Disorder! Praying that your husband gets over himself and that you can give yourself the gift of not feeling guilty for doing the right thing by your daughter! Big hugs and Much Love!!! 💕💞💞♥️❤️💖
Thank you so much, Rebecca. I’ve suspected my daughter for being HSP for a long time, now, though in my ancestral times ;), we didn’t have labels for that kind of things, and, you’re right, with a low tolerance for pain. I was exactly the same when I was her age so I know there’s at least a way to overcome that low tolerance, not HSP which I think is more a strength than a weakness if you use it right.
I’m hyper vigilant about bipolar disorder for, as you know, I’ve suffered from a mild one all my life. I will hand my daughter all the tools I have to work with it, already do actually, doing what my mom who suffered from it as well couldn’t do for me. Lots of love.
Parenting is so challenging, and it can be hard to come to a decision when both parents feel they are right. It might be that you and your husband would benefit from discussing your different parenting styles at a time when there isn't a decision to be made and you're both feeling calm. Then you could speak more generally about your values in raising your daughter, rather than about a specific situation. Having a mediator or counselor present could help you in communicating your perspectives without getting heated. And if, as Rebecca has suggested, your daughter is an HSP or has other challenges, getting the informed perspective of a professional would ultimately support your daughter's specific needs.
Thank you, Gillian, for your concern and insightful advice. Reading it, I wonder if I didn’t make that incident sound more dramatic than it actually was, just a mild opposition between two caring parents who both thought they were right, though I like to think that I am always more right than my husband ;). Sometimes, in a couple, especially about parenting, you simply agree to disagree because you don’t relate to your child in the same way. But we never really fight, nobody screams. One of us gets their way, the other one is upset for an hour or two and that’s it. When we were younger, when it happened, we pulled an imaginary armband as Japanese when they’re on strike to express our discontentment but would still kiss and hug because we were too wise to sulk!
As far as my daughter is concerned, she has access to a therapist whenever she feels the need to. In fact, she asked to go last year and I took her. She stopped after one session for she had resolved her problem but she knows she can go whenever she wants. Lots of love.
Hi Geraldine! I think you were absolutely in the right to keep your daughter out of swim class given the circumstances! Health is so important! It is all we have! And I’m sure you and your husband don’t want your daughter to come down with long Covid, which is a risk with even mild cases! Plus, if she still has symptoms, she could well be still contagious and should not be around her classmates!
It sounds like your daughter is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), who may also have a low tolerance for pain, so she deserves all your family’s compassion! Also Bipolar Disorder tends to run in families due to genetics and possibly growing up in a stressful environment due to being a Highly Sensitive Person, so your daughter may be exhibiting early signs of the Disorder! Praying that your husband gets over himself and that you can give yourself the gift of not feeling guilty for doing the right thing by your daughter! Big hugs and Much Love!!! 💕💞💞♥️❤️💖
Thank you so much, Rebecca. I’ve suspected my daughter for being HSP for a long time, now, though in my ancestral times ;), we didn’t have labels for that kind of things, and, you’re right, with a low tolerance for pain. I was exactly the same when I was her age so I know there’s at least a way to overcome that low tolerance, not HSP which I think is more a strength than a weakness if you use it right.
I’m hyper vigilant about bipolar disorder for, as you know, I’ve suffered from a mild one all my life. I will hand my daughter all the tools I have to work with it, already do actually, doing what my mom who suffered from it as well couldn’t do for me. Lots of love.
Parenting is so challenging, and it can be hard to come to a decision when both parents feel they are right. It might be that you and your husband would benefit from discussing your different parenting styles at a time when there isn't a decision to be made and you're both feeling calm. Then you could speak more generally about your values in raising your daughter, rather than about a specific situation. Having a mediator or counselor present could help you in communicating your perspectives without getting heated. And if, as Rebecca has suggested, your daughter is an HSP or has other challenges, getting the informed perspective of a professional would ultimately support your daughter's specific needs.
Thank you, Gillian, for your concern and insightful advice. Reading it, I wonder if I didn’t make that incident sound more dramatic than it actually was, just a mild opposition between two caring parents who both thought they were right, though I like to think that I am always more right than my husband ;). Sometimes, in a couple, especially about parenting, you simply agree to disagree because you don’t relate to your child in the same way. But we never really fight, nobody screams. One of us gets their way, the other one is upset for an hour or two and that’s it. When we were younger, when it happened, we pulled an imaginary armband as Japanese when they’re on strike to express our discontentment but would still kiss and hug because we were too wise to sulk!
As far as my daughter is concerned, she has access to a therapist whenever she feels the need to. In fact, she asked to go last year and I took her. She stopped after one session for she had resolved her problem but she knows she can go whenever she wants. Lots of love.