I have had a similar path; I am still working on extracting myself from decades of pleasing others. One of the most important steps is to return to my home town (city actually), where my soul can sing.
I am a male, and males can also be people pleasers. Thank you for this article; it confirms that I need to find a return to my Self. Music is also important to me. Grew up in the 1960s and 70s; the music and creativity was phenomenal.
Thank you, Perry. I am glad my post resonated with you. Stopping to be a people pleaser takes time as we need to adjust ourselves to our new found boundaries. I shut myself almost totally for a few months before opening my heart slowly again cautiously. Now, I put myself first, while still listening to others’ needs, and say « follow me if you love me ». And if they don’t, well, I go anyway and share with them afterward what I experienced. I’m free at last to do what I want and it feels great.
So, follow the flow, do what’s best for you and see if it brings you joy. If it does, you’re on the right path, my friend. The people who love you will follow because they will love the new joyful you and new joyful ones will enter your life as well. Lots of love.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I relate to a lot of it. For me, it was about not believing that who I was was enough and choosing to look to my world and ask them what they wanted from me. For many years, I became the person that my world told me I needed to be until I had, pretty much completely lost touch with my true identity. Like you took crashing and burning to rescue me. It was a tough messy chapter that ultimately was the greatest gift of my life. Blessings!🙏
Thank you, Wayne. Indeed, when the Universe stops us on tracks that aren’t ours in quite a violent and ugly way, it’s usually because we haven’t been listening to its first repeated subtle warnings. This crash was the second one for me, 2 decades after the first one, for I’m not a fast learner. But yes, as painful as they are, which is only the climax of the pain we inflicted on ourselves by not listening for so long, they are true gifts and blessings for they allow us to access love and joy again and walk on a life path that is aligned with our inner selves. Lots of love.
I have had a similar path; I am still working on extracting myself from decades of pleasing others. One of the most important steps is to return to my home town (city actually), where my soul can sing.
I am a male, and males can also be people pleasers. Thank you for this article; it confirms that I need to find a return to my Self. Music is also important to me. Grew up in the 1960s and 70s; the music and creativity was phenomenal.
Thank you, Perry. I am glad my post resonated with you. Stopping to be a people pleaser takes time as we need to adjust ourselves to our new found boundaries. I shut myself almost totally for a few months before opening my heart slowly again cautiously. Now, I put myself first, while still listening to others’ needs, and say « follow me if you love me ». And if they don’t, well, I go anyway and share with them afterward what I experienced. I’m free at last to do what I want and it feels great.
So, follow the flow, do what’s best for you and see if it brings you joy. If it does, you’re on the right path, my friend. The people who love you will follow because they will love the new joyful you and new joyful ones will enter your life as well. Lots of love.
It resonated a lot and emcouraged me to take the necessary steps to sanity and, hopefully, happiness..Thank you, Geraldine.
I'm here if you want to talk. Do not hesitate to message me.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I relate to a lot of it. For me, it was about not believing that who I was was enough and choosing to look to my world and ask them what they wanted from me. For many years, I became the person that my world told me I needed to be until I had, pretty much completely lost touch with my true identity. Like you took crashing and burning to rescue me. It was a tough messy chapter that ultimately was the greatest gift of my life. Blessings!🙏
Thank you, Wayne. Indeed, when the Universe stops us on tracks that aren’t ours in quite a violent and ugly way, it’s usually because we haven’t been listening to its first repeated subtle warnings. This crash was the second one for me, 2 decades after the first one, for I’m not a fast learner. But yes, as painful as they are, which is only the climax of the pain we inflicted on ourselves by not listening for so long, they are true gifts and blessings for they allow us to access love and joy again and walk on a life path that is aligned with our inner selves. Lots of love.
I’m glad you were able to find your true identity after going through such a tough chapter in your life. Stay strong!