Alignment (part 4): Joy
Bartender's wisdom... or is it?
My dear beloved customers,
A few weeks ago, Taylor Dean-Lipson asked me to write about alignment on his Daily Spark.
As Taylor’s posts are formated to be short and straight to the point, I really wanted to dwell a little more on the subjet in a few posts of mine, exploring further each part of my argument: after gratitude, self-love and circumstances, let’s explore my favorite topic: Joy.
A little recap before we start…
What is alignment?
Alignment is a way of being that allows us to live in peace with ourselves and others and to flow with the energies of life, whatever they are. This state is devoided of unnecessary fears and filled with peace, love and joy.
Joy
As I stated in The Daily Spark’s post, joy is the salt of love, its happy and playful sibbling. Too often, in our societies, we mistake joy with pleasure and yet, there couldn’t be more opposite items than them, pleasure being merely a mirage, an illusion of happiness and well-being.
I read somewhere that pleasure is a band aid on our wounds of frustration and egotic aches and I find that assessment very true. This is why it is so addictive, because until the wound is healed, it will need a band aid replacement to sooth it as soon as the hurt resurface.
The problem is that some of our wounds can take decades to be cured. As with colds, we alleviate their symptoms with medicines such as cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, video games, food, sex, to be able to funtion despite them but when we stop the treatment, the wounds still very much ache, even more severely as time passes by, and tablets less and less efficient.
What is the difference between pleasure and joy, then?
Pleasure is a shallow short-term fleeting moment brought on by outside elements such as a chocolate cake or a good glass of wine… But don’t misunderstand me, as everything else, pleasure in itself is not a nocive trick, it is, on the contrary, part of the very good sides of physical life.
How we use it though can turn it into a very dangerous gadget. Because the more we feel miserable, the more we need to compensate the pain, a good glass of wine can very quickly and easily turn itself into a whole bottle every evening. When a small pleasure rings at your door with its guilt companion, then it’s not a pleasure anymore.
Joy, just as love, is an inner, deep, long-lasting emotion brought on by our inner selves such as watching your child play, admiring a butterfly, or looking in awe at the stars above in the night sky. Joy is seeing life with renewed fresh eyes, like a child.
For me, joy is walking along the beach, feet in the ocean, watching a pelican fishing, or listening to one of my favorite piece of music.
Joy is not dependent of outside elements though. You can wake up one morning feeling very joyful at the mere idea of being alive. You don’t need to incorporate any foreign substance into your physical body to feel joyful contrary to pleasure for which it is usually required. Joy is an emotional response to what you are experiencing whereas pleasure is a physical and chemical one.
And joy isn’t just a fleeting moment—it’s a choice. I choose to love everything in my life, both the good and what others might call the bad, mostly setbacks and unexpected/unwanted outcomes. I take what serves me, what I en-joy, and leave the rest, grateful for both experiences. I choose to linger on joy and let the less pleasant emotions pass through, with no resistance for them not to persist.
But, as we are so used to linger on our mental couch with our ego, joy is not always easy to install as a permanent state, at first. We have to notice it each time it pays a visit for it to become a more regular guest on our couch, then for it to move in with us for good. Don’t underestimate the power of our ego though, it will not leave its seat without any resistance for that couch is a very comfortable one. It will nevertheless move out at a certain point, becoming the unexpected visitor rather than our roommate.
Joy is like a muscle, we have to work on it to strengthen it and make it one of the strongest structural supports of our life.
If my (almost) permanent state of being is joy, it is also because I’m so grateful for everything in my life starting with being alive, getting to know and love my true self, having such a great family who loves me - not the one I was born into unfortunately but the one I chose to live with -, living in a country where I can be fully myself as a woman… and gratitude is the best road to reach joy because it is the most beautiful detour from frustration city.
Alignment is always the product of choices from our part, the way we choose to relate to what makes our life our life. Joy is a great part of that, always seeing the glass half full rather than half empty for we will drink it anyway!
For those who would like further guidance to their own alignment, remember that I am not only a Bartender but also a Life Coach who can help you with tools to achieve this kind of peaceful state of life.
So don’t hesitate to DM me on Substack or on my website G-Spotlight to schedule a session and assess your needs.
Bartenderly yours,
Geay
PS: If you like her stories but are not ready to subscribe yet, you can always tip the Bartender.
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Results, outcome & Samantha Fox
A great distinction between joy and pleasure! I see pleasure as a gateway to joy if it’s recognized as a entry point not a destination. But pleasure as a substitute for joy is a very poor one indeed! Thank you for inviting us to experience authentic living! Many blessings!❤️