Alignment (part 6): Trust
Bartender's wisdom... or is it?
My dear beloved customers,
A while ago, Taylor Dean-Lipson asked me to write about alignment on his Daily Spark.
As Taylor’s posts are formated to be short and straight to the point, I really wanted to dwell a little more on the subject in a few posts of mine, exploring further each part of my argument: after gratitude, self-love, circumstances, joy and purpose, here’s the last but not the least, and probably the hardest to master as far as I’m concerned: Trust.
A little recap before we start…
What is alignment?
Alignment is a way of being that allows us to live in peace with ourselves and others and to flow with the energies of life, whatever they are. This state is devoided of unnecessary fears and filled with peace, love and joy.
Trust
On a personal level, I have trust issues that have led me into being a control freak with the logical outcome of ending in regular burnouts. No need to look far to understand where they come from for I had immature dysfunctional parents who I couldn’t rely on so I was in charge of myself from a very young age. Subsequently, when things went rough, I could only count on myself, or so I thought, and would take charge of everything, thinking I was more able to do them efficiently and quickly than anybody else.
After my last burnout, I’ve learned - the hard way for I can be very stubborn - to let go and that I was not in fact in charge of everything - Thank God for that for the world is too vast and I am much to small for the task! I’ve shed layers after layers of fears and generational conditioning. It’s not easy but I’m getting there, passing beyond my current circumstances, tossing wishes at the Universe and trusting someone out there is listening and will fulfill them for Christmas - of which exact year remains a mystery.
But why do we have so much trouble with trusting?
Probably because, as humans, we only believe what we see, meaning our current circumstances, and never pay attention to the tiny daily changes that occur inside of us. If we don’t have money, we seldom think “Oh, it will come” but rather focus on the fact that we are stuck in a very unwanted and uncomfortable situation, emphasizing it and its related worries.
But things change, good and bad, nothing lasts forever, the weather as well as life, so why wouldn’t our financial situation change as well, hopefully for the best and not for the worse? One of the issue in that positioning is that it requires our imagination rather than our memory. Our brain functions with points of reference in the past to build its projections so if we’ve lacked of money most of our life, our brain - helped by our ego - will only offer us that option again and again: bring to the surface of our thoughts the last lack, the last failure.
Hence, we have to build a new projection with faith rather than reason and our imagination instead of our memory. For that, we have to trust ourselves to be able to achieve anything and to trust the Universe to be on our side and meet us half way. With our scientific way to relate to life, we are not trained to think that way though every scientific discovery and invention started in someone’s imagination, from Leonardo da Vinci and Thomas Edison to Albert Einstein, they all dwelled upon an idea in their head before creating it in the “real” world.
Another problem is that if tiny shifts are not immediately visible, neither are they linear making them even harder to detect. The process is quite simple though: we build our new self - the one that fits our new life - with tiny unoticeable shifts - and depending on the life we want, it can take a while! - and then we expand it to our life which only unfolds when we are completely ready for it.
It’s like when we are on a diet, after we loose the easy first few pounds, nothing tends to happen for a while before a few more are going to drop. Nevertheless, though your scale doesn’t show it, lots of things happen in your body which needs to adapt to its new situation and reinvent itself with every meal. You can’t see it or measure it, and yet it exists beyond your perception.
In the same way, our body is not suited to perceive quantum energy without outside tools and yet, it exists. So why wouldn’t that be the same with our life, it’s not because we don’t see the Universe work on our behalf that it is not, right?
I already hear you answering me: “Because nothing will happen if I’m not taking actions”. True. But we don’t have to exhaust ourselves doing so which will be the case if we think things only rely on us and we try to push them our way rather than work peacefully on what brings us joy. Rather than trying to control the outcomes of our actions, we can trust they will be awesome rather than disastrous and that we don’t have to do a thing to get where we want to go unless we decide to or feel drawn to it.
Let me tell you a story about that. Almost twenty years ago, as I related earlier in one of my posts, I was in my early 30s and living on my own, had been for almost a decade. I had had a few love stories that hadn’t worked out and was getting lonely, in search of companionship. I was praying every night to whatever was up there for it to help me meet someone, the man of my life if such a creature existed.
I’m not really a social person but I forced myself to go out and meet new people, leaving me more lonely and frustrated each time I came back alone. But I kept praying, convinced that I was a good person who deserved to be loved so there was no way it wouldn’t eventually happen. I kept going out for months with no result at all.
One day, I received an email from one of my highschool sweethearts - yeah, I had a few during this period of time! - I hadn’t heard of for thirteen years. A few weeks later, we were back together and have lived happily ever since.
Where I’m getting at is not bragging about my efficient marriage but the fact that forcing myself to go out and regularly meet with people and strangers was of no use, it was just what I thought I had to do to find my true love though, in fact, the Universe had other plans, knowing exactly who I was and what kind of relationship would fit me perfectly. I just needed to be patient, open to what was coming my way and trust it would. We don’t control the how so why hurt ourselves by thinking we know a better way to achieve our goals than the Universe?
“Ok, so again you say, when we want something to happen in our lives, we do nothing?”
Not exactly. If I had not answered the email my future husband had sent me, it would have stayed as it was. Trusting the flow and following it is not moving in every direction hoping one will work, it is answering the invitation when it comes and, meanwhile, enjoying the journey, not in a waiting position but in an open one to whatever comes our way: opportunities, books, ideas… They all lead to where we want to go.
In the same way, if, like I do, you want to be a published - and successful - author, you have to write a book first… And then trust in the destiny of that book! When you come up with an idea of a publisher to send it to, do it. But don’t push it. Trust everything will come together when the time has come, even though you see nothing coming your way for a while, for you are not equiped to see the full picture. Put your book out in the world and see what comes. Let it go and come back to you only when it needs your assistance.
When I began to explore how life, the Universe and everything work after my burnout, I stumbled across one of Abraham Hicks’s book “Ask and it is given” and I’ve been back to them through Youtube videos lately. I remember vividly one passage of that book for I found it as fascinating as it was so opposite to how I had been functionning until then. It was called: Turning it over to the Manager.
“Imagine you are the owner of a very large creative manufacture and that there are thousands people working for you. Imagine you have a manager who works with them, understands and and direct them.
So when you get an idea, you explain it to the manager who says “I’ll take care of that right away”. And he does it efficiently, effectively and precisely. You make your requests with the attitude of expecting results - conviction and faith. So setting goals in your life is like delegating to the Universal Manager.
And achieving the vibration of allowing is like standing back and trusting your manager to set things into place, trusting that when something is required of you, your manager will bring your attention to it, when another decision is needed for you, you will be aware of it. Meanwhile, enjoy!
You are becoming the visionary in the creation mode rather than the “actionary”. You don’t have to do everything alone, just the actions you’re aligned with in the creation process.”
I like the idea of life being a luxurious hotel and going to the concierge each time I want to visit a new place or explore new sources of fun for him to arrange it and let me know when it’s ready or done. And I trust with all my heart that I can achieve my purpose, that the Universe, when seeing where I’m heading, will provide me with the knowledge, the people and the abundance I need to achieve it.
As I regularly say, fear and faith are the two sides of a same coin, both offer a possible future: Fear is the projection of what could go wrong, Faith is the projection of what could go right. Both are hypothetical events that may never occur so I choose to focus on the bright ones that illuminates my path rather than the dark ones that freezes me.
I would add to it that if we are clear on our goals and begin to create around them, even taking very small actions towards them, the Universe will meet us half way, sending us what will look like setbacks or obstacles that are meant to help us clear the traumas that are blocking us or point us in the right direction.
Our part of the job will be to pay attention to them and shift our reactions and emotions about them, acknowledging the fear and grief they trigger, accepting to let them pass through our body and let them go for they don’t serve us anymore. The Universe helps us prepare ourselves for becoming who we want to become and we have to trust the process, however uncomfortable it may often feel.
To conclude…
Living aligned is mixing together all those components - gratitude, self-love, circumstances, joy, purpose and trust - everyday, keeping them in mind to avoid drifting away in the dark spots accomodated by our ego.
Alignment is a state of mind that allows us to live in peace, joy and freedom, cleared of the burden of responsibilities that are not ours, certain that we are enough, convinced that anything is possible, always, and that the Universe has our best interests at heart.
Of course, as we are humans and not spiritual masters, it is difficult to stay aligned every minute of the day, it takes a lot of practice, like a mental sports, and life still happens with its waves of emotions but we can always choose to respond with trust rather than fear, to focus on love and joy rather than lack and sorrows, and the Universe will mirror that right back at us.
For those who would like further guidance to their own alignment, who need help to find their own purpose, remember that I am not only a Bartender but also a Life Coach who can help you with tools to achieve this kind of peaceful state of life.
So don’t hesitate to DM me on Substack or on my website G-Spotlight to schedule a session and assess your needs.
Bartenderly yours,
Geay
PS: If you like her stories but are not ready to subscribe yet, you can always tip the Bartender.
Is what happens to you in life personal?
Results, outcome & Samantha Fox
